Wedding RSVP Guide: Timeline, Questions to Ask & Chasing Late Replies
Published on · 4 min read
RSVPs decide your catering numbers, seating plan and final bill — and they are the part of planning couples most often say they underestimated. A clear deadline, the right questions and a simple follow-up plan get you final numbers on time.
The RSVP timeline
| When | What to do |
|---|---|
| 6–8 months before (8–12 for destination) | Send save the dates with your wedding website link |
| 6–8 weeks before (10–12 for destination) | Send invitations with the RSVP deadline |
| 3–4 weeks before | RSVP deadline |
| 1 week before the deadline | Friendly reminder to everyone who hasn't replied |
| Day after the deadline | Personal message or call to the last few |
| About 2 weeks before | Final numbers to caterer and venue (check your contracts) |
What to ask on your RSVP
Every extra question lowers the response rate a little, so ask only what you will use:
| Question | Ask it if… |
|---|---|
| Attending: yes / no | Always |
| Names of each guest attending | Always — it stops surprise plus-ones |
| Meal choice | You serve a plated dinner |
| Dietary requirements and allergies | Always |
| Which events they will attend | You have welcome drinks, brunch or multi-day events |
| Transport or shuttle | You run shuttles from hotels |
| Song request | Only if you want to — it's fun but optional |
Online RSVP vs reply cards
Reply cards feel traditional but need return postage, get lost, and must be typed into a spreadsheet by hand. Online RSVPs arrive instantly, record meal choices and dietary needs automatically, and let guests update their answer before the deadline. If you print invitations, add a QR code that opens your RSVP page — most guests will use it.
Address the invitation to the exact guests invited and show "We have reserved 2 seats in your honour" on the RSVP. Online RSVPs can limit each household to its invited names.
How to chase late RSVPs
Expect a share of guests to miss the deadline — it is rarely rudeness, usually forgetfulness. Give a reason and make replying effortless.
"Hi [Name]! Just a friendly reminder that RSVPs for our wedding are due [date]. You can reply in a minute here: [link] 💛"
"Hi [Name], we're sending final numbers to our caterer — could you let us know today if you can make it? Thank you so much!"
What to do with no reply
Call once. If you still can't reach them by the caterer's deadline, it is reasonable to assume they are not attending and tell them so kindly — "We'll assume you can't make it unless we hear from you by 6 PM — no hard feelings at all."
Multi-event weddings
If different guests are invited to different events — for example welcome drinks for everyone, a rehearsal dinner for family — ask for an RSVP per event and show each guest only the events they are invited to. It avoids awkward questions and gives every venue accurate numbers.
RSVP wording that gets replies
Short, specific wording works best: a clear deadline, the number of seats reserved, and one way to reply. "Kindly reply by 1 May at [link] — we have reserved 2 seats in your honour" gets more on-time replies than a vague "please RSVP".
Common RSVP problems and how to handle them
| Problem | What to do |
|---|---|
| Guest adds an uninvited plus-one | Reply kindly that the venue only has room for named guests |
| Guest RSVPs yes, then no-shows | Plan for a small number; most caterers allow a little leeway |
| Guest replies after numbers are final | Check with the caterer before saying yes |
| Family members reply for each other | Ask for each guest's name and meal choice individually |
| Guests unsure which events they're invited to | Show each guest only their events on your website |
Tracking replies
Keep one list with a row per guest: invited, replied, attending, meal, dietary needs and table. Online RSVPs fill this in for you; with paper cards, enter each reply the day it arrives and number the back of each card to match your list in case a guest forgets to write their name.
Giving final numbers
Your caterer and venue need final numbers by a date in your contract — often around two weeks before. Send them the confirmed headcount, meal choices by table and every allergy, and ask what happens if a guest cancels after that date.
RSVP Deadline Calculator
Work back from your wedding date to every send-out and follow-up date.